Awake at 3 am, couldn't shut off myriad of wildly
Catastrophic thoughts. Sleep eluded me.
Toss and turn; hot and cold; swimming head.
Had carelessly walked in slippers down long hallways.
Foot pain has returned; caution re medication side effects.
Feeling helpless, hopeless, and lack of clear options.
Sent package to wrong address in Seattle.
Regrets re newspaper interview: not focused,
Missed opportunity for communication.
Irritation and annoyance--taking responsibility.
Awareness and perception shifts re interactions.
Regrets re not writing; several poems emerge.
How will I get lunch tomorrow? Can I accept help?
Anxiety re walking in airports, at conference.
Should I get an ice pack or crutch for support?
Can I negotiate the next venue and location?
How will I walk on stage for introduction without
Distracting from purpose. Can I walk without wincing?
I will miss out on Copenhagen museum.
How will I walk to lecture venues?
I want to just walk without effort or pain.
Can I just sit in our room and write?
Yearning for quiet and time to write, write.
Amused by spellchecker corrections.
Can I walk to medical appointments in Seattle?
I cannot remember location of doctor's office.
How will I schedule x-ray and possible treatment?
Can I walk to classrooms; should I request 209?
Can I call rather than request via e-mail?
Will request for accommodation be honored?
Knowing all along: everything worsens during night.
Tried several interventions; not anxious re no sleep;
Mediated, prayed, focused on calm relaxation.
Writing the next morning, I am on my feet and walking.
All's well. Although overcast and light Swedish rain,
The sun rose again in the morning sky, as usual.
Ann Beth Blake
(c) August, 17, 2013