In Sweden, often both internally and externally silent.
In public, seldom understood direct or indirect conversation,
So mostly silent, mute when Swedish spoken around me.
Anticipating easy conversation and passive knowing
In Denmark with close friends and dear colleagues, feel
Excluded and silent as analysts talk re training and analysis.
Wherever I am, there I am: feeling outside of The Club.
Less confidence in my self-proclaimed introversion, I now
Wonder about protection, avoidance, and self-censoring.
Many excuses and hideouts over time: focus on children,
Shyness, leftover complexes of attachment and abandonment.
Unfortunately, dissatisfaction and wishful thinking.
Two steps forward, one step backward--improvement of
Self-Awareness and supportive acknowledgement;
Renwal of acceptance of reality in actual moment.
Afternoon lectures re Jung's Red Book: we all have
Issues and are close to the edge. The goal: accept and
Embrace all; acknowledge that wholeness is inclusive.
Evening film, Wisdom of Change, offered advice: direct
Empathy for suffering and for joy; psychological balance.
The challenge: fully accept myself in this and every moment.
Perhaps silence has a function. Perhaps?? Of course.
Reflection, internal processing, time to reorient/recover.
Don't worry, be happy.
Ann Beth Blake
(c) August 20, 2013